Flirty Poison
by Silverstonedragon
Summary: Deidara and Sasori go on a mission and get hit with a poisoned shuriken.The poison makes Deidara very flirty, and he flirts with everyone, and I do mean everyone.


**I do not own Naruto. This is a sugestion from ilovemyboys. I hope you like it.**

"You two are going on this mission right now." Pein said, handing Deidara and Sasori a thick folder.

"Yes Leader-Sama." Sasori said, taking the folder from the Akatsuki leader.

"Whatever you say sir." Deidara said.

The two missing-nin left their leader's office, and went to get their things from their room in the hideout. They got their things, and left the hideout, and headed for a village a half a days walk away. It only took them two hours though, since they took one of Deidara's clay birds. Through the whole flight, Sasori heard nothing but Deidara's mouth. Deidara would not shut up, but then again, he never did. He was always talking, even if no one was listening. At first it had gotten on everyone's nerves, but after a while, they got used to it, and found it strange for it to be silent whenever Deidara was in the room. Deidara could be on the brink of death, and still be talking up a storm.

By the time they landed, Sasori was about ready to rip Deidara's head off. They started to retrieve the scroll they were send to get, but were attacked right after they got a hold of it. Sasori put the scroll into his puppet to keep it safe as they fought. There were three jounin there to protect the scroll, and they were not happy that Sasori had managed to get it before they knew it. They attacked the two with kunai. They fought for about an hour without stopping. The three jounin managed to hit them both at least a dozen times, but Sasori and Deidara were able to hit the jounin more than that. An hour after the fight started, the tho of the jounin were dead, and the last one was close. Deidar and Sasori turned to leave, and the remaining jounin pulled two shuriken from his pocket, and threw them at the Akatsuki members. The shuriken embedded themsleves into the arm of each of the missing-nins. Sasori easily pulled the thing out without a problem. Deidara ignorned the on ein his arm and made a clay spider. It crawled over to the jounin, and blew up just as Sasori and Deidara wer flying away.

At first, Sasori hadn't noticed the shuriken in his partner's arm since the man hadn't acted as if it were there. He looked at Deidara and saw the shuriken. "Let me help you with that." He said.

"Okay." Deidara said. "But I think we have a bigger problem." He added.

"What are yo talking about brat?" Sasori asked, takening the shuriken out of Deidara's arm. He noticed Deidara didn't even flinch, which was strange. He then started to wrap his arm up.

"I can't feel my arm." Deidara said. "And I'm having a hard time feeling the other parts of my body."

Sasori looked up at the younger man. He saw that he was being serious. "What do you mean you can't feel it?" He asked.

"I think the Shuriken was poisoned. I can't feel my arm. I can't even feel the pain I know is there." Deidara said. He started to sway a little, and then fell backward on the giant bird. Luckily the bird could still fly with it's maker out cold.

Sasori set to work on cureing Deidara of whatever poison the jounin had used. By the time they got back to the hideout, Deidara was awake again, but still couldn't move very well, and Sasori hadn't figured out what poison it was. Sasori has no choice but to carry Deidara in. When they get off the bird, they find that Deidara can walk a little. Sasori wraps his arm around his waist and then puts Deidara's arm around his neck. He half carrys Deidara into the hideout.

Kisame was walking by the door just in time to see Sasori caryying Deidara in. "What happened?" He asked. He noticed that Deidara's arm was the only thing wrapped up. "Is he acting like this all because of his arm?" He asked.

"Kind of. He was hit with a poisoned shuriken, and can't really feel his body." Sasori said.

Deidara takes a deep breath. He then stands up completely without Sasori's help. He's still numb, but doesn't want to seem weak in front of Pein. Sasori looks at him a little worried, but shruggs it aff and lets him walk. Deidara could feel something strange happening with his body, but says nothing, not that he could. He finds that he can not talk at the moment. Kisame, who was going the the same direction anyway, walks with them to Pein's office.

Sasori knocks on the door. and hears Pein tell them to come in. Kisame would have kept walking on to his room, but had a feeling he should stay with them, so he did, and followed them into Pein's office.

"Was your mission a success?" He asked Sasori and Deidara.

Sasori pulled out the scroll, which he had put in his pocket right after they got on the bird. "Yes Leader-Sama." He said, handing him the scroll.

"Good work." Pein said, taking the scroll from the puppet master. He then looked up at a Kisame. "Was there something you needed?" He asked.

"No Sir, just thought I'd stay so I could talk to these two when they were done." Kisame said. Pein nodded.

Konan walked into the room from the adjacent room, and seem shocked by something. She looked at Deidara, who had sunk into a chair by this point. "I didn't even realise Deidara was here. I didn't hear him." She said.

Pein looked up in surprise. "You're right." He got up and walked over to Deidara. "Is there something wrong Deidara?" He asked the blonde bomber. Deidara said nothing, he couldn't.

"We were hit with poisonous shuriken on the mission. His body is numb, and he appears to be unable to speak. I have yet to figure out what is wrong with him. I'll take him to our room, and find out right now." Sasori said.

"Really?" Pein said. "You do that."

All of a sudden, Deidara jumps up, and attaches himself to the arm of Pein's coat. "Hello Leader-Sama." He whispered. "How are you this fine morning? Boy, you sure do look hot in this coat and all those peircings. You are a true work of art, and nothing can compair to your beauty." He said, smiling sudectively. Everyone was shocked speakless. "Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" Deidara continued.

"Shut him up, and get him off my boyfriend!" Konan yelled. She wasn't usually one to try and stop Deidara from talking, but this was one time she couldn't take it. It was one thing for him to just say it once, but when you kept saying it, she couldn't take it.

Kisame removed Deidara from Pein, not that Deidara put up a fight. "Find an antidote now." Pein said, looking at Sasori. "And you better keep an eye on Deidara while he does that." He said, looking at Kisame, who was now the one being flirted with.

"Yes Leader-Sama." He said, batting Deidara's hands away from his hair. Kisame half drug Deidara out of Pein's office. He then followed Sasori to his room.

Sasori took a blood sample from the blonde. He managed to get it without a fight, but only because Deidara was still too busy flirting with Kisame. "Keep an eye on him. I don't know what else the drug will do to him. I'm hoping the flirting is all, but even I'm having a hard time figuring the drug out." He told Kisame.

"Alright." Kisame turned to look at Diedara, and saw that he was no longer standing beside him. "Where'd he go?" He looked at Sasori, who was just as shocked at not seeing the blonde leave the room.

"Go find him." Sasori said.

Kisame ran from the room, and then down the hall. He nearly ran right into Itachi. "Oh, sorry Itachi. Have you seen Deidara? Did he come through here?" He asked the weasle.

"Yeah I saw him. He went that way." Itachi pointed behind him. He didn't look at all happy.

"Let me guess. He started flirting with you?" Kisame said.

"How did you know?" Itachi asked the shark man.

"You're not the only one. He flirted with Pein, and me too." Kisame said.

"Is he suicidal? Flirting with Pein. He better be glad Konan didn't hear him." Itachi said.

"Konan did hear. She was in the room when it happened." Kisame said.

"And she didn't kill him?" Itachi asked. All the memebers knew what happened to anyone who even looked at Pein in the wrong way. No one more than Zetsu, since he benefited from it.

"She knew why he started flirting with him. On Sasori and Deidara's last mission, Deidara was hit with a poisonous shuriken, and now he's flirting with everyone. Can you help me find him please. Sasori is trying to find an antidote, but we need ot keep Deidara from doing anything stupid. We don't know what else the drug might do to him." Kisame said.

Itachi nodded, and they went in the direction that Deiara went. They walked past Hidan and Kakuzu's room. They paused for a minute, but then kept walking. Even drugged up, Deidara wouldn't enter their room. The last time anyone entered the zombie twin's room, they lost their life in one of Hidan's rituals. No one but Kisame remembered who the guy really was, but he only remembered because he was one of his subordinates. They kept looking through the whole hideout.

Meanwhile, Deidara was sitting on Hidan's bed, said man's scyth in his lap. He was examining it when Hidna walked in. "What the fuck are you doing with that!?" He yelled.

Deidara looked up from the red three prong scyth. "It's so pretty,..." He got up, leaving the scyth on the bed, and walked over to Hidan. "Just like you." He whispered into the other man's ear.

"What?" Hidan asked, to dumbfounded to even think of cussing.

"Tell me about Jashin-Sama. You make him seem so cool. I want to know what he's like." Deidara said, still whispering into Hidan's ear.

Hidan was beyond shocked. None of the Akatsuki members had ever asked him about Jashin before. They usualy made fun of him because he was a Jashinist.

Hidan opened his mouth to say something about his God, when Kakuzu walked into the room. "What is the blonde brat doing here?" He asked.

Hidan looked at his partner, then to Deidara, who had gotten back on the bed, and was, once more, playing with his scyth. "He asked me about Jashin-Sama." He said to the stitched up man.

Kakuzu looked at Deidara. "Why is he playing with that?" He asked, looking at the bomber and the scyth.

Hidan looked at the other man as well. "I don't fucking know." Hidan said, scratchng his head.

Deidara looked at Kakuzu and smiled. "Hi there." He said in a very flirty voice. Deidara once more got off the bed, leaving the scyth laying. He walked over to Kakuzu, and leaned on his lef shoulder. "How are you handsome?" He asked.

Kakuzu was as dumbfounded as Hidan had been. "What did you just call me?" he asked.

"Handsome." Deidara said, batting his eyelashes, which, in Hidan's opinion, made his look even more like a teenage girl then he usually did.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting all weird? Did you loose a bet or something?" Kakuzu asked.

"No, I didn't loose a bet. How do you know this isn't how I usually act when I'm not around you, and I just got tired of acting?" Deidara said, still batting his eyelashes.

Kakuzu had nothing to say to this. Just then, Itachi and Kisame were walking by, still looking for Deidara. Kisame looked through the open door. he froze when he saw Deidara leaning against Kakuzu. "I found his Itachi." He told his partner.

Itachi took a step back, and froze as well. "Are you nutts Deidara?" he asked.

Deidar looked up. "Of course not Itachi." He said, walking over to try and fawn over the half blind man.

Hidan turned to look at Kisame after wacthing Deidara with Itachi for a few seconds. "What is wrong with him?" he asked.

"He was hit with a poisoned shuriken on his last mission, and has been acting like this all day." Kisame said.

"Acting like what?" Zetsu asked, appearing out of nowhere?

"He's been flirting with everyone." Itachi said.

Zetsu looked at Itachi, saw Deidara waving at him with a smile on his face, and vanished into the floor.

"Lucky bastard." Itachi mumbled. the rest of the day was spent running after Deidara and being flirted with. Hidanand Kakuzu joined in chasing Deidara, but only becuase they knew it was the only way to be ablt to give him the antidote when Sasori got it done.

"I have the antidote. Have you found Deidara yet?" Sasori asked, walking down the hall, a veil in his hand. They had finally caught Deidara, and where surounding his in a hallway.

"Yeah, we found him. That fucking poison must have given him a fucking death wish or something. He was in our room, messing with my scyth." Hidan said.

Sasori shook his head. He was the only one in the entire Akatsuki who wasn't afraid of the zombie twins, but only because he could die in the normal way. "Hold him down." He said, looking at Deidara.

It took Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan all to hold the flirty blond down. Sasori pured the liquid down his throat, and made Deidara swallow. A mintue of struggleing later, Deidara was out like a light. Sasori took him to their room, and left him there.

Two days later, Deidara finally woke up. Sasori was actually starting to worry about his partner, not that he would admit it to anyone. "What happened?" Deidara asked, holding his head.

"You don't remember?" Sasori asked.

Remember what? The last thing I remember is getting hit with a shuriken by that shinobi.' Deidara said, still trying to rub the pain from his head. "Did I get hurt that bad?" He asked.

"No. The shuriken was poisoned. When we got back, you were really quiet, and then you started flirting with everyone, and I do mean everyone." Sasori said.

"Flirting? I was flirting with everyone?" Deidara asked.

"Afraid so. You even flirted with he zombie twins, and Leader-Sama. You flirted with Leader-Sama in front of Konan too." Sasori said.

Deidara almost fell out of his bed. "And I'm stil alive?" He asked, shocked that he would something so stupid as to flirt with Pein in front of Konan, and to flirt with Hidan and Kakuzu. Then something came to his mind. "Did I flirt with Itachi too?" He asked.

"Yep. I said everyone didn't I?" Sasori said.

Deidara went under the covers, and refused to come out for a few more days, nly coming out when he really, really had to. No one could forget what happen, even though they all wanted to. They were jealous of Deidara since he couldn't remember. Deidara just wished they would stop giving his strange looks.


End file.
